Two Messes -- Me and the Other One

I've come to a decision. I know, stop the presses, right? But I still plan to share it with you. Here it is...

I will not buy any more kitchen towels in the kitchen section. I will be getting hand towels from the bath section to use in my kitchen from now on.

The ones in the kitchen section just don't seem to absorb anything. Maybe it's me. Tell me, am I some kind of kitchen towel ignoramus? If I have a puddle of something on my counter and I lay a kitchen towel on it -- or even press one into the puddle -- when I lift the towel the puddle is still there and there are two or three beads of liquid on the towel. What is that?!?

I've been told that microfiber towels are the way to go but don't they make couches out of that so that liquid can be cleaned up BEFORE it is absorbed.

What's the deal? The kitchen section towels seem to be made of the same stuff. So what exactly do you need kitchen towels for then? I use them to clean up messes, particularly liquid ones, and to wipe my hands on. If they don't absorb liquid, what are they made for?

Apparently bath hand towels are intended to absorb. Because they do. So I'll just gradually replace all of my kitchen towels with hand towels from the bath section. And you can laugh at my country hick-ness as long as you don't mind when I laugh at your shoes sticking to the kitchen floor because of the sticky mess that your kitchen towel didn't absorb.

Unless of course, I am an ignoramus and one of you can explain the magic technique that makes kitchen towels absorb. Then you can just laugh.

After you explain.