October 1st is the day we celebrate the anniversary of being matched with Rugrat.
What a blessing that day was to us!
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
A Mission
Recently, a news station in I think New Zealand, ran a story about the woman and the mission home that Rugrat was cared for in. As much as she loves the children she cares for, this woman has a special connection with Rugrat.
Rugrat was one of the first as I understand it that she personally collected from the orphanage and brought into the home while director. Rugrat was initially believed to be blind. Linda's own family raised funds to sponsor her (and made up the remainder). Her nephew is blind and helped to guide her as she broke through the mindset of the nannies.
Because they believed her blind, they felt that there was no need to teach her to do things for herself and had only given her bottles. As a result, she would not accept solid foods and could not use a spoon, etc. She was hypersensitive to textures and touch. Linda went through an extensive and time consuming process to teach her to act and respond like any other child would to such things.
When they say she has a passion for this, its true. All profits from the books she writes go to it. She speaks about it constantly. She posts about it. She even sells the puppies her dogs have to fund it. She truly lives and breathes this mission.
I thought it was a well done piece.
Rugrat was one of the first as I understand it that she personally collected from the orphanage and brought into the home while director. Rugrat was initially believed to be blind. Linda's own family raised funds to sponsor her (and made up the remainder). Her nephew is blind and helped to guide her as she broke through the mindset of the nannies.
Because they believed her blind, they felt that there was no need to teach her to do things for herself and had only given her bottles. As a result, she would not accept solid foods and could not use a spoon, etc. She was hypersensitive to textures and touch. Linda went through an extensive and time consuming process to teach her to act and respond like any other child would to such things.
When they say she has a passion for this, its true. All profits from the books she writes go to it. She speaks about it constantly. She posts about it. She even sells the puppies her dogs have to fund it. She truly lives and breathes this mission.
I thought it was a well done piece.
Friday, August 23, 2013
School Days
Yesterday's post was written on Monday. I was very frustrated. And, unfortunately, that hasn't changed.
On Tuesday afternoon, I think I reached the point where I was just done. Tuesday night was parent orientation. I think that was when Hubby decided he was done too.
After bringing her home on Tuesday afternoon, I went to the national facebook group for our virtual school and asked for specifics from anyone who had done or was doing the kindergarten program. Several people responded and answered my questions with detailed descriptions. After reading that, Hubby felt a little better about possibly switching her to that program.
At the parent orientation, we got a little more info from the principal about general policies then headed to the classrooms (it was a 'no kids' meeting). Rugrat's teacher began explaining their schedule and talking about all the little ways they had for dealing with behavior, the bathroom, lunches, everything they had to do.
At one point during that, I thought, "This woman is delusional." I knew there was no way that Rugrat could keep up with her.
She talks very fast for one thing -- Rugrat can speak pretty quickly but she isn't yet processing what she hears quickly. I think people tend to assume that one is indicative of the other though and she ends up missing what they say. Or by the time she processes it, they have moved on and are talking about other things.
The other thing her teacher does is use a lot of, for lack of a better word, slang. Perhaps colloquialisms might be better. Her words are often very 'cutesy.' That's all well and good for kids who understand that and I'm sure a flare for the dramatic helps keep the kids attention. But Rugrat doesn't have that kind of stuff down yet. She still learning normal English words.
So what I think may be happening is her good old self-defense mechanism kicking in. For the first 24 hours we had her in China, she shut down. Not dramatically -- she still ate and cooperated and had no issues with her bodily functions. But she didn't interact at all.
Hubby and I even discussed the possibility that she might be autistic on that second day. She was so completely zoned out that entire time. The only time we ever got a glimpse at something underneath was sleeping times. She knew that hotel bed was not HER bed and she threw a screaming fit about being made to go to sleep in it.
After she decided we were safe and apparently she would be with us a few days, she opened up and started to play and speak to us. While that kind of shut down is gone, she will still sometimes 'go to her happy place' in a chaotic or confusing environment.
Like, say, one where she can't keep up with what is being said and there might be a lot of noise or distraction (they have three 'centers' that they rotate around to in the classroom). So my guess is that she simply sits there in her happy place, la dee dahing and waiting for the next recess or something that catches her attention.
On Wednesday, she brought home her binder which has a place for her daily behavior number. While it wasn't negative, it did hint that she had not been focusing on what they were doing. That was further confirmed by a passing comment from the teacher yesterday afternoon.
There is one final issue too. Rugrat can handle a lot of things as long as she has a basic routine. For instance, we can go anywhere or do anything during the day as long as we hit the benchmarks of the day -- meals, getting dressed, teeth brushing, bath, story, bed, etc. for example. It is now a lot more flexible than it used to be. Even last year, she would tell us, almost to the minute, that it was bedtime at bedtime.
While her classroom has a schedule, it isn't routine. About the only things that seem to be are recess and lunch. Guess what the only two things we've heard from her that they do all day are? In fact, until Tuesday afternoon, when I tried to go through her day from drop off until pickup with her, that was all she'd been able to tell us. On Tuesday, I finally got out of her that they looked at cards with pictures of animals on them in addition to lunch and playground.
That's also probably the reason she hasn't had her lunchbox with her since the first day. On the second day, the teacher moved the place where they were supposed to put them and she hasn't brought it home since. We've been switching them out. She'll carry one and lose it that day and I find the previous days somewhere in the building while dropping her off or looking for that day's. The woman told her it would be in one spot and that's where she takes it. We can't get her to understand that it has been moved because she needs the stability of that one routine established day one.
As an aside: Frankly, I think they could stand to have a stricter routine period without so much going with the flow. Hubby and I both think they have pretty high expectations for those kids (I've been accused of expecting too much from mine a lot just for having any expectations so for me to say so should raise a flag). They're only 5 years old but the teachers seem to think they are little adults. We were even told by the principal to help her memorize her student ID number now which seems just a little crazy to me.
Of course, this is all what I THINK is happening. I may change my opinion as I observe more. But, anyhow, on Wednesday, we filled out paperwork to enroll her in the virtual academy. I think we both came to the same conclusion that this wasn't going to work for her finally. We tried to give it a whole week but now I'm just hoping I'll be able to withdraw her by next week.
Waiting for the wheels to turn and the process to complete is excruciating. And there is a slight possibility that it can be denied (if that happens, I think we'll be home schooling in the traditional sense). I can't withdraw her until it's official because of truancy issues. But I feel like she's just getting babysitting and nothing more there at this point.
And even as the week completes, I see absolutely nothing that convinces me otherwise. She goes only to play on the playground with the other kids. I am hoping that one on one instruction in a stable relaxed environment will give her what she needs to learn.
I'm still quaking in my boots at trying to teach her to read but I'm also excited about the possibility and can't wait to get started. We had kind of assumed that she would be doing this at some point anyway. It's just such a wonderful curriculum and we all love it.
And, possibly, in a few years she will have dealt with those issues and be able to 'go with the flow' a little better if we decide to go back to a classroom setting. I know some kids are just wired in such a way that they can't deal with that well. But we have seen in only this past two years how intelligent she is and how quickly she has adjusted to a very different way of life. I feel certain that time is all she really needs (and someone who gets her).
On Tuesday afternoon, I think I reached the point where I was just done. Tuesday night was parent orientation. I think that was when Hubby decided he was done too.
After bringing her home on Tuesday afternoon, I went to the national facebook group for our virtual school and asked for specifics from anyone who had done or was doing the kindergarten program. Several people responded and answered my questions with detailed descriptions. After reading that, Hubby felt a little better about possibly switching her to that program.
At the parent orientation, we got a little more info from the principal about general policies then headed to the classrooms (it was a 'no kids' meeting). Rugrat's teacher began explaining their schedule and talking about all the little ways they had for dealing with behavior, the bathroom, lunches, everything they had to do.
At one point during that, I thought, "This woman is delusional." I knew there was no way that Rugrat could keep up with her.
She talks very fast for one thing -- Rugrat can speak pretty quickly but she isn't yet processing what she hears quickly. I think people tend to assume that one is indicative of the other though and she ends up missing what they say. Or by the time she processes it, they have moved on and are talking about other things.
The other thing her teacher does is use a lot of, for lack of a better word, slang. Perhaps colloquialisms might be better. Her words are often very 'cutesy.' That's all well and good for kids who understand that and I'm sure a flare for the dramatic helps keep the kids attention. But Rugrat doesn't have that kind of stuff down yet. She still learning normal English words.
So what I think may be happening is her good old self-defense mechanism kicking in. For the first 24 hours we had her in China, she shut down. Not dramatically -- she still ate and cooperated and had no issues with her bodily functions. But she didn't interact at all.
Hubby and I even discussed the possibility that she might be autistic on that second day. She was so completely zoned out that entire time. The only time we ever got a glimpse at something underneath was sleeping times. She knew that hotel bed was not HER bed and she threw a screaming fit about being made to go to sleep in it.
After she decided we were safe and apparently she would be with us a few days, she opened up and started to play and speak to us. While that kind of shut down is gone, she will still sometimes 'go to her happy place' in a chaotic or confusing environment.
Like, say, one where she can't keep up with what is being said and there might be a lot of noise or distraction (they have three 'centers' that they rotate around to in the classroom). So my guess is that she simply sits there in her happy place, la dee dahing and waiting for the next recess or something that catches her attention.
On Wednesday, she brought home her binder which has a place for her daily behavior number. While it wasn't negative, it did hint that she had not been focusing on what they were doing. That was further confirmed by a passing comment from the teacher yesterday afternoon.
There is one final issue too. Rugrat can handle a lot of things as long as she has a basic routine. For instance, we can go anywhere or do anything during the day as long as we hit the benchmarks of the day -- meals, getting dressed, teeth brushing, bath, story, bed, etc. for example. It is now a lot more flexible than it used to be. Even last year, she would tell us, almost to the minute, that it was bedtime at bedtime.
While her classroom has a schedule, it isn't routine. About the only things that seem to be are recess and lunch. Guess what the only two things we've heard from her that they do all day are? In fact, until Tuesday afternoon, when I tried to go through her day from drop off until pickup with her, that was all she'd been able to tell us. On Tuesday, I finally got out of her that they looked at cards with pictures of animals on them in addition to lunch and playground.
That's also probably the reason she hasn't had her lunchbox with her since the first day. On the second day, the teacher moved the place where they were supposed to put them and she hasn't brought it home since. We've been switching them out. She'll carry one and lose it that day and I find the previous days somewhere in the building while dropping her off or looking for that day's. The woman told her it would be in one spot and that's where she takes it. We can't get her to understand that it has been moved because she needs the stability of that one routine established day one.
As an aside: Frankly, I think they could stand to have a stricter routine period without so much going with the flow. Hubby and I both think they have pretty high expectations for those kids (I've been accused of expecting too much from mine a lot just for having any expectations so for me to say so should raise a flag). They're only 5 years old but the teachers seem to think they are little adults. We were even told by the principal to help her memorize her student ID number now which seems just a little crazy to me.
Of course, this is all what I THINK is happening. I may change my opinion as I observe more. But, anyhow, on Wednesday, we filled out paperwork to enroll her in the virtual academy. I think we both came to the same conclusion that this wasn't going to work for her finally. We tried to give it a whole week but now I'm just hoping I'll be able to withdraw her by next week.
Waiting for the wheels to turn and the process to complete is excruciating. And there is a slight possibility that it can be denied (if that happens, I think we'll be home schooling in the traditional sense). I can't withdraw her until it's official because of truancy issues. But I feel like she's just getting babysitting and nothing more there at this point.
And even as the week completes, I see absolutely nothing that convinces me otherwise. She goes only to play on the playground with the other kids. I am hoping that one on one instruction in a stable relaxed environment will give her what she needs to learn.
I'm still quaking in my boots at trying to teach her to read but I'm also excited about the possibility and can't wait to get started. We had kind of assumed that she would be doing this at some point anyway. It's just such a wonderful curriculum and we all love it.
And, possibly, in a few years she will have dealt with those issues and be able to 'go with the flow' a little better if we decide to go back to a classroom setting. I know some kids are just wired in such a way that they can't deal with that well. But we have seen in only this past two years how intelligent she is and how quickly she has adjusted to a very different way of life. I feel certain that time is all she really needs (and someone who gets her).
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Another Eye Appointment
Rugrat had another eye appointment on Friday. It went very well.
I started telling her about it mid-week. I made sure to remind her that Dr. Trigler is her friend and he just wants to help her. And I made a point to remind her that he wasn't like the doctors she had before.I've been assuming all along that this fear (almost rabid, terrorizing fear) comes from having been 'treated' by doctors at a young age who weren't terribly compassionate.
In her country, an orphan has no familial connections making them essentially worthless in most of society's eyes. Throw on a special need (as with her eyes) and they are less than worthless. It wouldn't surprise me at all (even just based on our own personal experiences with the doctors there) if they had let that attitude color their treatment of her. Only 1 of the 4 we personally saw for her paperwork acted pleasant or compassionate towards her. Or even was gentle.
Setting that possibility aside, even if they were gentle and compassionate when treating her, she was very young. And the kind of examinations they had to do would have been, at a minimum, uncomfortable and more than likely somewhat painful.
So it made an impression -- one that stuck. As far as she's concerned, all doctors hurt. No exceptions.
We've been trying a lot of strategies to help her get past this idea. I talked about them in this post about her last appointment. The only one we've since added is trying to talk about the "before doctors" and the "now doctors." Reminding her that her current one isn't like the ones before. He's trying to help and wants to be her friend.
(I truly hope that her 'before' doctors were compassionate and that her fear is more the result of her young age and the procedure coloring her memories. I simply don't know though. And it's easier to just point out a difference between that memory -- no matter what caused it -- and the truth of how things are now.)
I don't know if one thing in particular is working or if it is all of them combined with her getting older, but I'll take it. Progress is still progress.
And this progress was awesome. It's the pressure test that she hates so much. Checking for glaucoma at least twice a year is a necessary evil with her eyes so she really has to get over it and learn to deal with it. She began with the usual this time; hiding her face, crying, twisting and turning. Kicking and escalated fit throwing comes next but we didn't get that far.
In the time between the nurse and the doctor coming in, we talked to her some more. More reminding that this doctor is different. More assuring that if she cooperates, it will be done fast and over with. More being stern to let her know it was going to happen regardless.
And by the time we got to the test, she made the effort (squeezing my hand and with tears running down her cheeks) to hold still and let him do it. Throughout, she asked him "Just one more?" and he would assure her that he was almost done.
But for the first time since that single fluke at the beginning when she didn't know what he was doing, she sat and allowed it without being held down or having her eyes held open, without screaming, without trying to take out the doctor's ability to reproduce, without needing more than one adult.
She sat on my lap but I was there for comfort only. I didn't even have to hold her still. It was, by far, the best and most cooperative she's ever been. And Hubby was more than happy to stop off at Wal-Mart for a special 'good job' toy when we were done too.
I am so proud of the way she is learning to take on her fear. It still rears its ugly head occasionally, especially in new circumstances and not always to do with doctors either. And we still have to push at times but she is definitely conquering it, if only piece by piece. I have no doubt that eventually we will win this fight. And I find myself more curious than ever to see the strong, confident woman she will someday become.
I started telling her about it mid-week. I made sure to remind her that Dr. Trigler is her friend and he just wants to help her. And I made a point to remind her that he wasn't like the doctors she had before.I've been assuming all along that this fear (almost rabid, terrorizing fear) comes from having been 'treated' by doctors at a young age who weren't terribly compassionate.
In her country, an orphan has no familial connections making them essentially worthless in most of society's eyes. Throw on a special need (as with her eyes) and they are less than worthless. It wouldn't surprise me at all (even just based on our own personal experiences with the doctors there) if they had let that attitude color their treatment of her. Only 1 of the 4 we personally saw for her paperwork acted pleasant or compassionate towards her. Or even was gentle.
Setting that possibility aside, even if they were gentle and compassionate when treating her, she was very young. And the kind of examinations they had to do would have been, at a minimum, uncomfortable and more than likely somewhat painful.
So it made an impression -- one that stuck. As far as she's concerned, all doctors hurt. No exceptions.
We've been trying a lot of strategies to help her get past this idea. I talked about them in this post about her last appointment. The only one we've since added is trying to talk about the "before doctors" and the "now doctors." Reminding her that her current one isn't like the ones before. He's trying to help and wants to be her friend.
(I truly hope that her 'before' doctors were compassionate and that her fear is more the result of her young age and the procedure coloring her memories. I simply don't know though. And it's easier to just point out a difference between that memory -- no matter what caused it -- and the truth of how things are now.)
I don't know if one thing in particular is working or if it is all of them combined with her getting older, but I'll take it. Progress is still progress.
And this progress was awesome. It's the pressure test that she hates so much. Checking for glaucoma at least twice a year is a necessary evil with her eyes so she really has to get over it and learn to deal with it. She began with the usual this time; hiding her face, crying, twisting and turning. Kicking and escalated fit throwing comes next but we didn't get that far.
In the time between the nurse and the doctor coming in, we talked to her some more. More reminding that this doctor is different. More assuring that if she cooperates, it will be done fast and over with. More being stern to let her know it was going to happen regardless.
And by the time we got to the test, she made the effort (squeezing my hand and with tears running down her cheeks) to hold still and let him do it. Throughout, she asked him "Just one more?" and he would assure her that he was almost done.
But for the first time since that single fluke at the beginning when she didn't know what he was doing, she sat and allowed it without being held down or having her eyes held open, without screaming, without trying to take out the doctor's ability to reproduce, without needing more than one adult.
She sat on my lap but I was there for comfort only. I didn't even have to hold her still. It was, by far, the best and most cooperative she's ever been. And Hubby was more than happy to stop off at Wal-Mart for a special 'good job' toy when we were done too.
I am so proud of the way she is learning to take on her fear. It still rears its ugly head occasionally, especially in new circumstances and not always to do with doctors either. And we still have to push at times but she is definitely conquering it, if only piece by piece. I have no doubt that eventually we will win this fight. And I find myself more curious than ever to see the strong, confident woman she will someday become.
Friday, February 1, 2013
There is a Light at the End of the Tunnel!
Today was another eye appointment for Rugrat. It went well; beyond our expectations for certain.
Generally, it takes me, Hubby, a nurse, and the doctor to get her pressure reading. Today, it only took me, Hubby, and the doctor. What's more, she didn't scream and cry so much that the nurse was coming to look in on us all.
That's not to say she didn't scream and cry though. She still did -- but the volume was much lower and by the end of the pressure reading she had mostly stopped.
That's the way it was with the kicking too. She started out pretty wild (like I hope the doctor has finished all his fathering of children kind of wild) and settled down to the point that she actually just stopped kicking.
I had decided to try being REALLY firm with her all through it this time. There is one phrase I use that is kind of like when other parents count to 3 and they are on 3.
The difference is that I actually do something if she doesn't respond unlike most of the parents I've seen who count. (Yes, I'm being facetious. Seriously. Why bother if you have no intention of actually disciplining. That drives me crazy. Especially when they can plainly see that the kid has it figured out and is standing there with a smirk that says, "WHAT will You do? Ha!")
So anyway, I let her know what I expected. And then throughout the test, I reminded her a few times. Plus, we had already talked about how Mama and Baba and Chick and Dude all had to get the same test and we didn't cry or scream.
I've also been making a point to call the doctor by name rather than "the eye doctor." I wanted to see if making him a person we're going to see rather than evil incarnate's impersonal title would help.
Plus, we all decided to do the test regardless of her behavior. I think knowing it's going to happen whether you cooperate or not probably tends to make an impact on anything she views as scary. This is no exception and the consistency seems to be paying off.
The doctor actually expected two fights today. He dilated her eyes. Because her eye is all pupil, it doesn't actually dilate but the muscles will relax with that solution which makes it easier to see everything.
She had actually calmed herself enough after the pressure reading that when he brought the solution over tensed and ready, she let him put them in. I told her he needed to put some water in her eyes and she sat still with her eyes open wide for him.
As he turned to put it away, she even jumped down from my lap to give him a hug -- I guess letting him know all was forgiven.
And he had no problems with any other part of the exam. He was even able to give her a new prescription. (He used a different tool to do that. We haven't even considered trying to get her to look through those binocular type things.)
So Hubby and I are feeling good. We've been waiting for even the slightest hint that this part won't always be so hard. This was it! And even if things are exactly the same as usual next time, this appointment gives a clue that they won't always be. Eventually she will overcome her fear.
And until then, I guess we'll just keep chipping away at it.
Generally, it takes me, Hubby, a nurse, and the doctor to get her pressure reading. Today, it only took me, Hubby, and the doctor. What's more, she didn't scream and cry so much that the nurse was coming to look in on us all.
That's not to say she didn't scream and cry though. She still did -- but the volume was much lower and by the end of the pressure reading she had mostly stopped.
That's the way it was with the kicking too. She started out pretty wild (like I hope the doctor has finished all his fathering of children kind of wild) and settled down to the point that she actually just stopped kicking.
I had decided to try being REALLY firm with her all through it this time. There is one phrase I use that is kind of like when other parents count to 3 and they are on 3.
The difference is that I actually do something if she doesn't respond unlike most of the parents I've seen who count. (Yes, I'm being facetious. Seriously. Why bother if you have no intention of actually disciplining. That drives me crazy. Especially when they can plainly see that the kid has it figured out and is standing there with a smirk that says, "WHAT will You do? Ha!")
So anyway, I let her know what I expected. And then throughout the test, I reminded her a few times. Plus, we had already talked about how Mama and Baba and Chick and Dude all had to get the same test and we didn't cry or scream.
I've also been making a point to call the doctor by name rather than "the eye doctor." I wanted to see if making him a person we're going to see rather than evil incarnate's impersonal title would help.
Plus, we all decided to do the test regardless of her behavior. I think knowing it's going to happen whether you cooperate or not probably tends to make an impact on anything she views as scary. This is no exception and the consistency seems to be paying off.
The doctor actually expected two fights today. He dilated her eyes. Because her eye is all pupil, it doesn't actually dilate but the muscles will relax with that solution which makes it easier to see everything.
She had actually calmed herself enough after the pressure reading that when he brought the solution over tensed and ready, she let him put them in. I told her he needed to put some water in her eyes and she sat still with her eyes open wide for him.
As he turned to put it away, she even jumped down from my lap to give him a hug -- I guess letting him know all was forgiven.
And he had no problems with any other part of the exam. He was even able to give her a new prescription. (He used a different tool to do that. We haven't even considered trying to get her to look through those binocular type things.)
So Hubby and I are feeling good. We've been waiting for even the slightest hint that this part won't always be so hard. This was it! And even if things are exactly the same as usual next time, this appointment gives a clue that they won't always be. Eventually she will overcome her fear.
And until then, I guess we'll just keep chipping away at it.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Happy Match Day!
Today is the anniversary of our match day with Rugrat -- the day we were matched to her file as her forever family.
Our first sight of her
Our 'red couch' picture shortly before coming home
Our little Razorback at home
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Anniversary Scrapbook
Our adoption agency is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. They asked that everyone send in a scrapbook page for each adopted child in your family. This is the one we sent in.
They wanted us to put on our travel group number (you can see that in the top right there). I imagine they will be putting them in order in that way so that flipping through the book will allow for a natural progression of children adopted over the years.
If someone were to ask, I would highly, highly recommend them. They did an excellent job and I never really felt stressed out or concerned when we were there. I pretty much always knew what was going to happen and what I needed to do.
It was started by a Chinese couple who immigrated to America. Now it is the agency who does the most Chinese adoptions in the world and has been recognized by the Chinese government as well. And there's a good reason for that.
So, congratulations CCAI! Happy Anniversary!
They wanted us to put on our travel group number (you can see that in the top right there). I imagine they will be putting them in order in that way so that flipping through the book will allow for a natural progression of children adopted over the years.
If someone were to ask, I would highly, highly recommend them. They did an excellent job and I never really felt stressed out or concerned when we were there. I pretty much always knew what was going to happen and what I needed to do.
It was started by a Chinese couple who immigrated to America. Now it is the agency who does the most Chinese adoptions in the world and has been recognized by the Chinese government as well. And there's a good reason for that.
So, congratulations CCAI! Happy Anniversary!
Friday, June 8, 2012
Braids!!
We made our first attempt at braids this morning. Rugrat had short hair for her time before us but it grew quite quickly (in fact, I'm thinking it must have been a feat for them to keep it short). She has had to get over having it brushed and fixed in the morning. Until we got a kid's all-in-one shampoo plus conditioner to use, she would have a few (very few) tangles which would result in great weeping and wailing. Now the one tangle she sometimes has results in a prune face and the word "tangle" before we go on to the business of putting it up.
When I got the first braid this morning, she ran her hand over it and commented on it several times.
"Beautiful." and "Like it." were the things I heard most. It wasn't as neat as I like but I figured this was her intro to getting it braided and I would probably put it in a ponytail before the day was over anyway. Her hair is so fine that I would be surprised if it stays in the braids for too long.
It makes me happy that she had such a positive reaction though. Maybe we're starting to get past the "hair styling is 'torture'" to the "what should we do with my hair today" stage.
When I got the first braid this morning, she ran her hand over it and commented on it several times.
"Beautiful." and "Like it." were the things I heard most. It wasn't as neat as I like but I figured this was her intro to getting it braided and I would probably put it in a ponytail before the day was over anyway. Her hair is so fine that I would be surprised if it stays in the braids for too long.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
(Almost) Wordless Wednesday
Came across this image I had saved while cleaning up files recently. Supposedly, it says, "God has answered."How appropriate.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
The Eye Doctors Have It
Yesterday, Rugrat had an eye doctor visit. I fully expected to schedule an exam under anesthesia for her at it's end. We changed our insurance to cover these twice-a-year glaucoma exams. Because of her fear, she has made it really difficult to even look at her eyes much less be able to get a pressure on them to check for glaucoma. As a result, we expected to do at least one more exam under anesthesia in the hospital.
I had been working with her at home for weeks. Talking up the doctor. Reminding her that he gave her her glasses. And trying to be excited about the upcoming visit. I even promised her a trip to Orange Leaf if she cooperated.
She definitely wasn't happy to be there and whimpered a little when we were led to the exam room. But I was working at remaining calm myself and distracting her with things on the wall and the movie playing on the tv.
She sat on my lap through the exam. He is pretty thorough and really looked at her eyes for about 10 or 15 minutes. To that point, she had sat on my lap, occasionally pushing back against me. But she wasn't crying or whimpering even though you could see her visibly trying not to especially when I told her she was doing a good job.
Our first visit was a dance. He would come close, she would cry, he would back away. On our second visit, she allowed him to do a little looking but when he touched her, she start crying in earnest. So she had already taken great strides on this one.
Imagine my surprise then when he was able to get pressure readings as well. The little machine he used takes six readings and averages them. He was able to get all six on one eye and three on the other before she started crying hard. That was enough for him though particularly since the readings he got were good.
We were both ecstatic. I couldn't believe how well she had done and he just kept saying over and over how proud he was of her and that we were doing a great job. I don't know if she has begun to trust in our presence or if she is simply understanding more when we explain. Maybe it's a little of both. So far though, all of her doctors have been anxious to prove to her that she doesn't need to fear them.
I had begun to believe that it would be a couple of years minimum before a doctor visit wasn't a frustrating hassle. But as we sat at Orange Leaf enjoying her reward, I found myself looking forward to possibly changing back our insurance next year and maybe some less stressful doctor visits in the future.
I had been working with her at home for weeks. Talking up the doctor. Reminding her that he gave her her glasses. And trying to be excited about the upcoming visit. I even promised her a trip to Orange Leaf if she cooperated.
She definitely wasn't happy to be there and whimpered a little when we were led to the exam room. But I was working at remaining calm myself and distracting her with things on the wall and the movie playing on the tv.
She sat on my lap through the exam. He is pretty thorough and really looked at her eyes for about 10 or 15 minutes. To that point, she had sat on my lap, occasionally pushing back against me. But she wasn't crying or whimpering even though you could see her visibly trying not to especially when I told her she was doing a good job.
Our first visit was a dance. He would come close, she would cry, he would back away. On our second visit, she allowed him to do a little looking but when he touched her, she start crying in earnest. So she had already taken great strides on this one.
Imagine my surprise then when he was able to get pressure readings as well. The little machine he used takes six readings and averages them. He was able to get all six on one eye and three on the other before she started crying hard. That was enough for him though particularly since the readings he got were good.
We were both ecstatic. I couldn't believe how well she had done and he just kept saying over and over how proud he was of her and that we were doing a great job. I don't know if she has begun to trust in our presence or if she is simply understanding more when we explain. Maybe it's a little of both. So far though, all of her doctors have been anxious to prove to her that she doesn't need to fear them.
I had begun to believe that it would be a couple of years minimum before a doctor visit wasn't a frustrating hassle. But as we sat at Orange Leaf enjoying her reward, I found myself looking forward to possibly changing back our insurance next year and maybe some less stressful doctor visits in the future.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
What's Going On...
Sorry I haven't been keeping up lately. Between dental work on Monday, feeling utterly miserable on Tuesday, and what now seems to be constant back pain, I haven't quite been up to par. On top of that, Hubby and I have pretty much come to the conclusion that we may be in need of a new mattress. I haven't slept well in about a week or so and he has had issues as well. Which, of course, may also be the cause of my back pain.
I dearly, dearly hate shopping for things like mattresses. So you can imagine the joy I'm feeling about that.
Rugrat has been somewhat whiny as well so I've been having to exercise a lot of patience. Which is harder when you aren't feeling well.
Some of the things that seem to set her off make me wonder if she is missing someone who she used to know that did that thing. For instance, she'll sometimes ask me to sing "la la la" (her Elmo doll sings a la la la song) and, then when I do, she'll start to whimper and cry a little. It's only when I sing it a certain way -- I just haven't quite figured out what way it is.
One night we went to pick her up from Bible class and her teacher said she had just started crying in the middle of class for seemingly no reason. The only thing they could figure out was that they had mentioned mommies during the story but she usually doesn't get upset about things like that when she is in familiar territory. And there have been other instances too.
So I find myself wondering if she is going through a mourning phase right now. Or if she is succumbing to the same allergies and seasonal griefs that plague me (and others). Or if she is just being a moody 4-year-old who is decompressing after the Christmas season.
Thankfully, those instances seem to be declining so perhaps she'll be a little more constant soon. And I have found that Nyquil does wonders for me so maybe I'll be the same too. Fortunately, Chick and Dude have been very even keel and even seem to be getting along better than normal. Maybe that can continue too.
I dearly, dearly hate shopping for things like mattresses. So you can imagine the joy I'm feeling about that.
Rugrat has been somewhat whiny as well so I've been having to exercise a lot of patience. Which is harder when you aren't feeling well.
Some of the things that seem to set her off make me wonder if she is missing someone who she used to know that did that thing. For instance, she'll sometimes ask me to sing "la la la" (her Elmo doll sings a la la la song) and, then when I do, she'll start to whimper and cry a little. It's only when I sing it a certain way -- I just haven't quite figured out what way it is.
One night we went to pick her up from Bible class and her teacher said she had just started crying in the middle of class for seemingly no reason. The only thing they could figure out was that they had mentioned mommies during the story but she usually doesn't get upset about things like that when she is in familiar territory. And there have been other instances too.
So I find myself wondering if she is going through a mourning phase right now. Or if she is succumbing to the same allergies and seasonal griefs that plague me (and others). Or if she is just being a moody 4-year-old who is decompressing after the Christmas season.
Thankfully, those instances seem to be declining so perhaps she'll be a little more constant soon. And I have found that Nyquil does wonders for me so maybe I'll be the same too. Fortunately, Chick and Dude have been very even keel and even seem to be getting along better than normal. Maybe that can continue too.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
One Year!
Then: "I'm a citizen now!"As we made it past the barrier, they approached with much the same awe on their faces as a three year old Chick had had when first seeing her new baby brother at the hospital. A dream, something we had spoken of for a very long time and looked forward to, something we had planned and prayed for was finally here... in the flesh... touchable... real.
It is amazing to think that it has been a year. The time has flown so quickly and yet it seems she has been a part of our family all along.
NowFriday, December 2, 2011
Big #4
Yesterday was the Rugrat's birthday. It was number 4 for her but our first to celebrate with her. And she is at just the right age to understand that it is a time that is all about her.
Because we love her so much, we stepped through the doors of a place we had sworn off many years ago -- the forbidden zone -- the land of indigestion and headaches for all those over 8. To celebrate, we took her to kid heaven for an early dinner -- otherwise known as Chuck E. Cheese.
We used one of those coupons for pizza, soda, and a cup full of tokens (approximately 85 which she added 3 more to when they found out it was her birthday). While waiting for our pizza, we took her to check out the games and rides.
We picked the perfect time to go. We were the only people there until we were sitting down to eat our pizza. One other family came in then and I think that was it until we left. So we were by ourselves checking out the games and rides to start.
It was probably a bad idea to do the monster truck first but we didn't realize it would do this:
The first thing it did was raise the hood up to almost my height, then it started rocking back and forth. She thought she was going to fall out at one point. Mercy! I probably would have gotten spooked too. The gentle rocking horse we talked her into next made it all okay though.
She's a pretty smart cookie and it didn't take her long to get into the games.
Or to figure out what made them work:
This game was probably her favorite. I bet we played it 8 or 10 times. Maybe more.
It didn't give us many tickets but Chick and Dude racked up playing Skeeball and other games. At the end, she figured out why we kept collecting those. She spent them all (the benefit of having an older sister and brother who aren't interested in the little plastic prizes) and got a lot of bling bling.
Then it was home for these:
and this:
She got a little shy on me when she got ready to open everything. But she knew exactly what to do. She ripped right into them.
She got a cool playhouse,
some fancy house slippers,
and a Dora kitchen.
Plus the grandparent gifts, of course.
Then we sat down to let her blow out the candles. She absolutely cackled every time we got to the part of the birthday song that says her name. Every single time. She thought it was hilarious that we were singing about her.
And while we had some cake,
the engineers went to work.
Daddy & Daddy-in-training
When all was said and done, I think she had a pretty awesome birthday! She seemed to be enjoying herself. And she ran back and forth between playing with one new toy and the other.
I couldn't help but wonder if her biological mom was thinking of her today at one point though. Surely it crossed her mind to wonder if that baby girl she held so tightly to for 4 months was doing well. I hope somewhere deep in her heart, God will give her a peace and pleasant feeling so that she knows our little Rugrat is fine. And that He will bless her in return for the blessing that she has given to us.
Because we love her so much, we stepped through the doors of a place we had sworn off many years ago -- the forbidden zone -- the land of indigestion and headaches for all those over 8. To celebrate, we took her to kid heaven for an early dinner -- otherwise known as Chuck E. Cheese.
We used one of those coupons for pizza, soda, and a cup full of tokens (approximately 85 which she added 3 more to when they found out it was her birthday). While waiting for our pizza, we took her to check out the games and rides.
We picked the perfect time to go. We were the only people there until we were sitting down to eat our pizza. One other family came in then and I think that was it until we left. So we were by ourselves checking out the games and rides to start.
It was probably a bad idea to do the monster truck first but we didn't realize it would do this:
The first thing it did was raise the hood up to almost my height, then it started rocking back and forth. She thought she was going to fall out at one point. Mercy! I probably would have gotten spooked too. The gentle rocking horse we talked her into next made it all okay though.She's a pretty smart cookie and it didn't take her long to get into the games.
Or to figure out what made them work:
This game was probably her favorite. I bet we played it 8 or 10 times. Maybe more.
It didn't give us many tickets but Chick and Dude racked up playing Skeeball and other games. At the end, she figured out why we kept collecting those. She spent them all (the benefit of having an older sister and brother who aren't interested in the little plastic prizes) and got a lot of bling bling.
Then it was home for these:
and this:
She got a little shy on me when she got ready to open everything. But she knew exactly what to do. She ripped right into them.
She got a cool playhouse,
some fancy house slippers,
and a Dora kitchen.
Plus the grandparent gifts, of course.Then we sat down to let her blow out the candles. She absolutely cackled every time we got to the part of the birthday song that says her name. Every single time. She thought it was hilarious that we were singing about her.
And while we had some cake,
the engineers went to work.
Daddy & Daddy-in-trainingWhen all was said and done, I think she had a pretty awesome birthday! She seemed to be enjoying herself. And she ran back and forth between playing with one new toy and the other.
I couldn't help but wonder if her biological mom was thinking of her today at one point though. Surely it crossed her mind to wonder if that baby girl she held so tightly to for 4 months was doing well. I hope somewhere deep in her heart, God will give her a peace and pleasant feeling so that she knows our little Rugrat is fine. And that He will bless her in return for the blessing that she has given to us.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Happy Birthday...
to our little Rugrat! She turns 4 today! Her first birthday with us and we intend to enjoy it!Friday, November 25, 2011
Good News!
On Wednesday afternoon, we received a call from the Rugrat's geneticist. Her second genetic test results were in.
She does NOT have the mutation for WAGR's syndrome. That means she is NOT at risk for the Wilm's tumor! No more kidney scans. No more worries about developing a tumor.
They did find the mutation for her aniridia, which was good news. That explains that the aniridia was genetic and did not have another cause (which we would have had to start looking for if it wasn't genetic). As she said, usually they don't want to find any mutations but this was one that they were hoping to see.
Those two things combined are very good news! And we got to celebrate one more reason to be thankful on Thanksgiving.
And I'm sure Rugrat won't mind missing out on all those extra doctor visits either.
She does NOT have the mutation for WAGR's syndrome. That means she is NOT at risk for the Wilm's tumor! No more kidney scans. No more worries about developing a tumor.
They did find the mutation for her aniridia, which was good news. That explains that the aniridia was genetic and did not have another cause (which we would have had to start looking for if it wasn't genetic). As she said, usually they don't want to find any mutations but this was one that they were hoping to see.
Those two things combined are very good news! And we got to celebrate one more reason to be thankful on Thanksgiving.
And I'm sure Rugrat won't mind missing out on all those extra doctor visits either.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Just a Smidge Territorial
On Thursday, we had friends come to stay with us for the night. They were traveling and we happened to be right in the middle of their route so they made a pit stop with us. Their family boasts five children so getting to stop for the night made things a little easier for them. And we were absolutely pumped about getting to see them again.
The Rugrat is pretty quiet with other children for the most part. But, she usually doesn't have them in her home. At church, she sits at the table or plays the teacher's pet. She is always excited when we are around other children in other places, avidly watching them.
The only place I've ever seen her act a little pushy was when we visited with one of the families we traveled to China with (while in South Carolina). Even then, I wasn't sure if she was being pushy or if she was just an older child (by almost two years) getting her way.
But, well, she's definitely aggressive. She had no issue with snatching or grabbing things away from the other children. And it didn't bother her too much to push or hit them either -- even the ones who were quite a bit bigger.
I knew she was territorial already. She has attempted to stake her claim on me since we got her home. Hubby has had to assert his previous claim several times when she tries to pry our hands apart or shove herself in between us on the sofa. She has even gone so far as to start to cry when he hugs or kisses me.
Poor Rocky takes any opportunity he gets to sit in my lap when she isn't around. Something he used to take for granted initially got him pushed off or slapped at. While she's learned that isn't acceptable, she still tries to sneak in a reprimand ("Doggy, no no. Go. Go.") or nudge him off before I tell her it isn't okay. Once, I turned him over and held him baby-like causing her to break down into weeping and wailing. Her response is a little better now.
But she is territorial and, now that we know she'll get aggressive too, we'll need to begin addressing that. The problem is that in order to do that I might have to subject other children to her. Whoops. That seems like a bad plan.
The good news is that she did seem to be getting it by Friday. At least, I thought so and then she'd do something else. I really didn't have this problem with Chick (who was always compassionate towards the underdog). Dude did deal with this to some degree but it was usually in context of defending his friends so we had to discuss how to defend them appropriately.
Bullying, though, which is where I can see this headed, is not gonna happen. Period. So it looks like sharing is going to be the emphasis for the next few months (along with getting potty training down) as well as a few lessons about not hitting or kicking.
I suppose this is part and parcel for a child who lived with several other children. Most large families I know of have to deal with it to some degree. So it shouldn't surprise me.
Dealing with it may be more difficult though since everyone around her is essentially adult-sized. Poor Rocky may have to be the guinea pig some more. Guess I better stock up some dog treats -- the good stuff.
The Rugrat is pretty quiet with other children for the most part. But, she usually doesn't have them in her home. At church, she sits at the table or plays the teacher's pet. She is always excited when we are around other children in other places, avidly watching them.
The only place I've ever seen her act a little pushy was when we visited with one of the families we traveled to China with (while in South Carolina). Even then, I wasn't sure if she was being pushy or if she was just an older child (by almost two years) getting her way.
But, well, she's definitely aggressive. She had no issue with snatching or grabbing things away from the other children. And it didn't bother her too much to push or hit them either -- even the ones who were quite a bit bigger.
I knew she was territorial already. She has attempted to stake her claim on me since we got her home. Hubby has had to assert his previous claim several times when she tries to pry our hands apart or shove herself in between us on the sofa. She has even gone so far as to start to cry when he hugs or kisses me.
Poor Rocky takes any opportunity he gets to sit in my lap when she isn't around. Something he used to take for granted initially got him pushed off or slapped at. While she's learned that isn't acceptable, she still tries to sneak in a reprimand ("Doggy, no no. Go. Go.") or nudge him off before I tell her it isn't okay. Once, I turned him over and held him baby-like causing her to break down into weeping and wailing. Her response is a little better now.
But she is territorial and, now that we know she'll get aggressive too, we'll need to begin addressing that. The problem is that in order to do that I might have to subject other children to her. Whoops. That seems like a bad plan.
The good news is that she did seem to be getting it by Friday. At least, I thought so and then she'd do something else. I really didn't have this problem with Chick (who was always compassionate towards the underdog). Dude did deal with this to some degree but it was usually in context of defending his friends so we had to discuss how to defend them appropriately.
Bullying, though, which is where I can see this headed, is not gonna happen. Period. So it looks like sharing is going to be the emphasis for the next few months (along with getting potty training down) as well as a few lessons about not hitting or kicking.
I suppose this is part and parcel for a child who lived with several other children. Most large families I know of have to deal with it to some degree. So it shouldn't surprise me.
Dealing with it may be more difficult though since everyone around her is essentially adult-sized. Poor Rocky may have to be the guinea pig some more. Guess I better stock up some dog treats -- the good stuff.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Good News
Recently, we had the Rugrat's genetic test done. We received the results back on Wednesday. According to this test, she does NOT have WAGR and so is not at risk for the Wilm's tumor or anything else that goes along with it.
She may have to have one more test done to be certain, but this one was the big one.
The way it was explained to me is that the gene for aniridia and the gene for the WAGR sit right next to each other on the dna strand. If she only has aniridia, then only that part of the strand is missing but if she has WAGR then both pieces of the strand are missing. This test caught whether both pieces were missing. The other test, if she needs it, would find any very small pieces missing that would link the two.
But this one catches a very large percentage of the cases that occur. That works for me and I'll definitely take it. If she had WAGR, this would have been the one that probably would have found it. She doesn't seem to have any of the other symptoms though, so it may be that this test is enough for confirmation.
I'll talk more to the doctor to find out but, for now, we're celebrating!
She may have to have one more test done to be certain, but this one was the big one.
The way it was explained to me is that the gene for aniridia and the gene for the WAGR sit right next to each other on the dna strand. If she only has aniridia, then only that part of the strand is missing but if she has WAGR then both pieces of the strand are missing. This test caught whether both pieces were missing. The other test, if she needs it, would find any very small pieces missing that would link the two.
But this one catches a very large percentage of the cases that occur. That works for me and I'll definitely take it. If she had WAGR, this would have been the one that probably would have found it. She doesn't seem to have any of the other symptoms though, so it may be that this test is enough for confirmation.
I'll talk more to the doctor to find out but, for now, we're celebrating!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
A Special Visit
On Friday, we got a special visit. The director of the mission that runs the home where Rugrat was cared for was traveling near us with her daughters and made a little side trip to see her. I was a little nervous but excited too to meet her. Both she and her daughters had lived there at times and so all knew the Rugrat.
The director mentioned that sometimes seeing these children in their new homes was surreal to her. That was probably a pretty good word. This woman sitting in my living room had seen Rugrat take her first steps, had dealt with her issues with eating and textures. And as it turns out, carried her to the van on the day she came to join us. She was saying a goodbye as I sat in a hotel lobby with butterflies in my stomach and trying not to let my emotions overflow my eyes. And she was probably worrying and wondering as I was spotting my first sight of a tiny little girl (whose size I had been trying to guess at for months) through a window at the registration office. Surreal is definitely a good word.
We got to visit for a short while (she had to be somewhere else that evening) and I watched her daughters play with Rugrat and resume their acquaintance as well. They were curious about all kinds of things that she had been doing. My questions had all flown away somewhere when they pulled up (did I say I was a little nervous?). Fortunately, I have her email address so I can ask later if I want to. I had intended to show them her room and possibly her scrapbook. I even made Lemon bars which I never thought to offer -- oops. I didn't take a single picture either (which by the way carried over to the family reunion we went to that weekend). I was really not on my game, I guess.
Nonetheless, I enjoyed our visit and now I have a face to put with the name. I am sure that we will continue to share pictures and keep communicating as Rugrat grows. Because she too loves our Rugrat.
And she is a link to a history that Rugrat is blessed to have. I have said before that many of the children from our group had nothing -- a paragraph of how they came to the orphanage perhaps and, if they were lucky, a favorite toy or something. Our little one had a memory stick of photos and not one, but two women who have a special place in their hearts for her. God was blessing her long before He brought her to us.
And, well, now He's blessing us.
The director mentioned that sometimes seeing these children in their new homes was surreal to her. That was probably a pretty good word. This woman sitting in my living room had seen Rugrat take her first steps, had dealt with her issues with eating and textures. And as it turns out, carried her to the van on the day she came to join us. She was saying a goodbye as I sat in a hotel lobby with butterflies in my stomach and trying not to let my emotions overflow my eyes. And she was probably worrying and wondering as I was spotting my first sight of a tiny little girl (whose size I had been trying to guess at for months) through a window at the registration office. Surreal is definitely a good word.
We got to visit for a short while (she had to be somewhere else that evening) and I watched her daughters play with Rugrat and resume their acquaintance as well. They were curious about all kinds of things that she had been doing. My questions had all flown away somewhere when they pulled up (did I say I was a little nervous?). Fortunately, I have her email address so I can ask later if I want to. I had intended to show them her room and possibly her scrapbook. I even made Lemon bars which I never thought to offer -- oops. I didn't take a single picture either (which by the way carried over to the family reunion we went to that weekend). I was really not on my game, I guess.
Nonetheless, I enjoyed our visit and now I have a face to put with the name. I am sure that we will continue to share pictures and keep communicating as Rugrat grows. Because she too loves our Rugrat.
And she is a link to a history that Rugrat is blessed to have. I have said before that many of the children from our group had nothing -- a paragraph of how they came to the orphanage perhaps and, if they were lucky, a favorite toy or something. Our little one had a memory stick of photos and not one, but two women who have a special place in their hearts for her. God was blessing her long before He brought her to us.
And, well, now He's blessing us.
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