Why Eating Potato Chips Could Be Bad For You...

Well...

If you want to eat potato chips, you might be tempted to steal some in the middle of the night from a nearby picnic table.

In the process of stealing them, you might knock over some stuff on the picnic table inadvertently awakening the people who are sleeping in the tent behind the picnic table.

That might cause a woman with wild hair in white and blue plaid pajamas wearing horrid pink garden clogs to come out of the tent and start shining a light in your eyes while you're munching.

That same woman might come stumbling through the trees toward you, occasionally stomping her feet (in those horrid pink garden clogs) in such a way that it is sure to give you nightmares for week.

What's more, she might mumble and grumble at you, calling you unsavory names like 'thief' and 'bandit' and 'rodent' and other things.

As you waddle away (you're quite good at stealing potato chips, you must admit), you might even hear her suggest that she wouldn't have cared if you had the chips if you hadn't already taken and eaten HER HOT DOG BUNS! It might not have been a good idea to take the potato chips over to the empty bun wrapper to eat.

Then you might have to watch as she shoots you a dirty look and snatches up the empty bun bag and the still half full bag of potato chips and stalks away only to throw them in the trash and -- aw, man! -- hide the bag inside the van.

Because you know, that no matter how that Furry Vengeance movie makes it look, you can't open up the van and get to the goodies inside.

And with the salty goodness still on your tongue, you may have to watch as she packs anything and everything else that might have been worth checking out into that same van, realizing in the process that you missed out on the box of Hostess cupcakes. Grrrr.

That's why eating potato chips could be bad.




(And if you're a real big dummy, you might even wander back into the campsite a couple of evenings later while everyone is STILL sitting around the fire startling yourself and making a run for the woods yet again!)