Featured Post

A Little Change

 I have finally finished organizing all those recipes. You will now find tabs at the top (look up) leading to individual recipe categories. ...

Verses

So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Galatians 6:9

Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished! Luke 1:45

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Grieving

Sunday ended up being a hard day for me. Someone said something in the discussion in our Sunday morning class that hit me the wrong way and I had to fight tears for a bit there -- just missing Daddy. Thankfully, I had nursery duty that day and the Lord was good enough to provide lots of busy babies to distract me. Then there was a song we sang that evening worship, and I was fighting tears again. I thought I was okay then until we went to bed. Hubby had just fallen asleep when I slowly lost the battle and had a good cry. I think its strange how it just hits me like that. I'm strolling along doing well and then, BAM, it's all I can do not to crumble.

I am glad that I don't feel angry or bitter at losing him. I know there's a reason and it's a good one because it's God's reason. But I want to be on the other side of this, missing him with good memories and laughing at silly things he did.

I remember when he was in the hospital and it wasn't looking good that I kept thinking I was on one painful mountain top and I wanted to be on the one that I could see in the distance -- the one with good memories and laughing at silly things he did. The problem was that in order to get to the other one I had to climb down this one and go through a deep dark valley that was cold, scary and lonely. That was the part I didn't want to do but some invisible hand kept pushing me toward it.

I thought maybe I was already climbing up the other mountain but I think the rocks must be loose because I slid right back down to the edge of the valley.

I guess now I'll have to grab another handhold and pull myself up a little again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Bless your heart. Ive had you in my prayers. I had a rough Sunday too. I really loved your crazy silly Daddy. Im always here. There is no one who Id rather pass a bucket too. :) Love you guys