An Unexpected Gift

I have never done an adoption before, nor have I ever been closely involved with someone doing one. Both of my children came to us in the traditional manner. But I have been struck by something I did not expect at all, at least not yet. Love. I am totally head over heels in love with our little Danielle already. And I've never seen her face. If we were to put a stop to the adoption process right now, I would always feel that I had a daughter somewhere that I never got to meet. I'm not sure how to explain that. I expected to feel something powerful for her the first time I saw her picture or got her specs. But I guess just knowing she exists has given me an overwhelming feeling that took me totally by surprise. I suppose its kind of like knowing there's a child growing inside you when you're pregnant but this is so different too. It makes me think of Psalm 139:

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex. Your workmanship is marvelous and how well I know it.

15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God!

If I love her like this before she's even born or I know her, I can't begin to imagine how much God loved me even before I was born or knew of Him. But I do know that His love for me must have been overwhelming and intense -- because that's how I feel now. And if I get nothing more than that from this experience, its been worth it. Thank you Father.