Socialization for Adults

I was talking to one of my friends after worship the other day. She is an adamant home schooler and she is also a big researcher for anything she does. We were talking about socialization. She made the point that the only time we are forced to have for our social group only people of our own age is in a school setting. That's not something I had thought of before but it's true. If I think of the friends I am close to, only one really is the same age as I am.

In fact, I am a prime example of this. My friendships range from late teens to people in their 90's. About the only time I have a hard time fitting in is with people who are my age. And that has always been the case. The logic might be that after years of being forced into such an environment, I would come to interact more with my peers. That wasn't so. I was still mostly alone. Even as a junior high student, I felt that most of them were childish. I often had as friends people who were a grade level or two above and occasionally below. So I am feeling better about home schooling the chick. That, you see, is exactly her problem. She can find friends who are younger or older without a hitch. It's just her own age group who seem to reject or ignore her. Gee, that sounds very familiar.

I was thinking about this yesterday after I went to Ladies Class. I am the youngest one who attends the class. I am the only one under 40. There are only two there who are in their 40's. Everyone else is older. I had told the teacher Wednesday night about getting reviewed and moved to the match room. The first thing she brought up in class was my "good news." I told them all and then sat as this room of women smiled and clapped their excitement. My eyes welled up from the love and acceptance I felt from them. I remember thinking how lucky our second little girl will be. Here was a room of 20-30 women who already cared about her too. She's going to be spoiled rotten!

Most of the younger people I know cling to each other. It's not that they don't want to be friends out of their age group. I don't think it even occurs to them that they could find friendship in other age groups. I feel sorry for them. I wouldn't give up my social group even if they were my age. And I think they are missing some vital support in other ways too.

I guess that's obvious since I keep bringing this subject up. I get very frustrated though because I hear younger women complain that they don't have the very things that a group of older friends would provide. And even though they might agree, it will be years before they step beyond that self-imposed wall to find their most valuable friendships. How sad.