Contingency Plans

After reading on Queen B's blog about her travel issues today, I thought to myself, "I don't think I have any travel issues really." I mean, other than -- "Do not get mad at me for wanting to stop at the bathroom. I am a grown woman and I know when my bladder is full." Which, hello! Don't cha think?

And I have one bad tendency. Did you ever hear the fable about the knight who was going on a long journey? He wanted to make sure he had everything he needed so he packed food and things to cook it in, extra clothing, put on his armor and sword in case of a fight or thieves, extra money in case he forgot something, etc. He thinks of all these things he might just need, packs them up, and sets off on his horse. As he's crossing the river, the weight of everything breaks through the bridge and he and his horse fall into the river and drown. Yeah, that's me. I think the moral is that you can't possibly be prepared for every situation. But me. Well, I sure try.

So, hey, what's so wrong with having a small bladder and trying to be prepared? I could have been a boy scout for crying out loud. As far as travel issues go, I'm not too bad.

But then I remembered the one thing.

When we go to China, we will have to fly. Over water. Lots of water. Lots and lots of water.And do you know what lives in lots of water? Have you ever seen that movie "Open Water?" I've watched lots of scary movies in my time. I don't think any of them ever gave me nightmares like Open Water and its not even a horror movie. It's a drama, people!

But the thought of floating along helpless and vulnerable while underneath sharks swim around drooling and thinking about taking a bite. Ooowhoooo...

I have already informed Hubby that I will be carrying on my person a small inflatable life boat. I would rather dehydrate into a raisin in the sun in a lifeboat than deal with sharks. Can Not Do It. I even already have a plan. When we go down, we'll have to swim some away from the other people so I can blow it up without being torn apart for it. Also their splashing and screaming will attract the eating machines. After its blown up, Hubby can get in and help me in. Then if others want to tie together their seat cushions and link them to our boat they can. Or they can remain fish food. Whatever. I will be in my boat.

Actually, that's not really a travel issue. It's a well thought out emergency plan. Am I right?

Umm.

You're supposed to say "Yes!" here.